No Air
by StUpIdLoVeLeTtEr
Summary: Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air, can't live, can't breathe with no air It's how I feel whenever you ain't there, It's no air, no air. Got me out here in the water so deep, tell me how you gonna be without me, If you ain't here, I just can't breathe. Their relationship was indestructible and complex. Will they admit they cant live without one another?


Things were so different now, he was my best friend-I mean he was my _best _friend-and now all of that has changed. We used to be inseparable, attached at the hip our friends and parents would say. But all of that has changed now.

It's funny how only one summer can change your life, probably forever too. It was always just Bella and Alistair, now it's Bella without Alistair, and Alistair with Kallie.

I want to hate her, I want to hate him but I love him too much. I would hate her, but sadly I am incapable of hating anyone at all.

Why does this have to suck so badly?

"What's a matter baby girl? Missing lover boy?"

"Shut up Edward." I muttered annoyed. Edward is my gay friend, I met him in my intro to English lit class freshman year, well actually I met him in Alistair's dorm room unofficially but that is a long story.

"Well I don't blame you. She is a bitch."

"You're preaching to the choir." I grumbled irritably as I watched in envy as she sat on his lap, smiling and garnering his full attention.

I dislike her so very much, our relationship was indestructible-or so we thought-he promised me that nothing would change, that she was okay with our relationship which turned out to be a crock.

"Mm, mm, look at that cutie. Oh! And he is coming this way, he has his sights on you Bells!" Edward said loudly, shaking me slightly, making Alistair look over from his spot on his blanket.

For the first time in two months he paid me more attention than Kallie, he looked in our direction with sudden curiosity and protectiveness. Well at least I know he will always be protective no matter how much our relationship changes.

I looked in the direction that Edward was and saw the one and only Kyle Cudrow, one of the hottest guys in my Psych class. He was walking toward me with a big smile on his face, he was shirtless as he had just been in the ocean so his tan skin was glistening with ocean water, his blonde hair damp and hanging in his dark blue eyes.

"Hey Bella."

"Hey Kyle."

"Well I'm gonna go. Later Bells."

"Bye Eddie."

We blew each other a kiss before he stood up and walked down the beach toward Alistair and Kallie, oh boy. I turned away from him and Alistair's burning gaze to see Kyle standing over me with a bright smile.

"Wanna sit?" I asked politely, gesturing to the open spot beside me on the blanket.

"Nah I don't wanna get your towel wet I know he will be back as soon as I go." He said with a slight chuckle before squatting down in front of me.

"Sounds reasonable. So, what's up? Having a good day on the beach?" I asked with a flirtatious smile as I leaned back on my elbows.

His appreciative look at my bikini clad body did not escape me, I just chose not to call him on it and smiled even wider when he regained his composure. He cleared his throat once before he spoke again.

"I, uh, was wondering if you wanted to go to a party with me tonight."

"A party huh? Where?" Finally. A distraction. His smile seemed to widen, if that were possible.

"It's a friend on mine's party. Pick you up?"

"What time?"

"Be at your door at nine sharp."

"Can't wait."

"Me either." He stood up with a wink before turning and walking off to his friends who were cheering him on. I rolled my eyes and laid back on the blanket and waited for Edward or Alistair to come over.

And believe me, I didn't have to wait long before my sun was blocked by a hovering Alistair staring at me with fire in his eyes. I sighed heavily before lowering my glasses so he could see my eyes over the rim.

"You're blocking my sun."

"What did Kyle want?" not even a hello.

"Why do you care?" I asked irritably while sitting up once again.

"Because I am your best friend and I know guys like him, he is bad news Bells."

I scoffed, standing so I was looking at him directly, I was able to see the rage full force now and it really made me mad. Because really? He hasn't talked to me at all really in the last few weeks and all of a sudden he thinks he can act like this? I don't think so.

"For real? Don't even Alistair, you can't come over here acting all protective after weeks of shutting me out."

"ME?! You are the one shutting me out Bells!"

"Oh yeah? When was the last time we actually talked Al? You have been so far up Kallie's ass and her up yours that I haven't even been able to get two words to you. She is not okay with our relationship in the slightest I know that for a fact. She is trying her dammedest to make sure we stay apart so she can have you to herself and I am sick of it. I want my best friend back!" I yelled at him angrily before turning away and storming down the beach, ignoring him as he called my name.

I didn't even realize that the tears were falling until I reached the rocks and collapsed onto one of the smoother ones, almost falling in and onto the sharper rocks but I was able to catch my balance before doing so.

What happened to us? We were so close before. I don't understand. I can't breathe and my chest hurts, why is everything so fucked?

~NA~

_"Bells," _

_A nudge to the back. Please go away. _

_"Bella." _

_Another nudge to the side. Leave. _

_"Hey," _

_Oh my gosh who let him in here?_

_"I know you hear me Swan get your ass up before I jump on you." _

_"You. Wouldn't." I gritted through clenched teeth, not even bothering to open my eyes to know he had a wicked smirk on his face. _

_"Wanna bet?" he challenged. _

_"No." I growled while throwing the covers off and sitting up so I was sitting face to stomach with my annoying best friend. _

_"What time is it?" I asked while rubbing my eyes and stretching out. _

_"Ten." _

_"Ugh! I'm going back to bed!" _

_"No you are not!" he nearly yelled, grabbing me in his arms and throwing me over his shoulder. _

_"Alistair!" _

_"Bella!" _

_"Put me down!" _

_"Nope, you are coming with me baby girl!" _

_"Ugh! I hate you!" _

_"I love you too baby." _

~NA~

I didn't even look up when I heard him approach, I just kept looking out to the ocean and dwelled on the memory. That was the day we went to that party after a dance and got wasted as we would always do right before spring break. That was one of my favorite memories, I would always stay at his place and he would stay at mine, our parents didn't care they loved the both of us too much to set rules like that.

"Bell, I'm sorry. Everything is so messed up and I never meant for this to happen." Al said glumly as he sat down beside me.

"Then why did it?" I sniffed not even caring that he followed me, because truthfully I wanted him too. He always used too, and this is the first time in a long time he actually followed me.

"I don't know baby, but I want things to be like they were. You know I remember all the fun we had, it's truly hard to forget and I would never want to give any of it up. I love you too damn much Bells. Hey, you remember that party after graduation?"

"Oh god, out of everything that had to have been the stupidest we have ever been."

"But we did have fun."

"Yeah, we did huh?"

"I think senior year was our absolute best year don't you think so?"

"It was, but I enjoyed the first year we met more."

"Why? I was a total loser and you were like the hottest girl in school. That's a pretty painful memory for me if I do say so myself."

"And how was it so painful? You got your first kiss by the hottest girl in school remember?"

A big goofy smile spread across his face instantly at my words, Al wasn't a loser when we met he was just the new super smart and shy kid that everyone liked to pick on. Especially my brother Emmett and his football buddies. I just so happened to be the first person they chose for him to do the deed with.

"It was the best kiss of my life if I do say so myself."

We both laughed as we remembered that day in full clarity.

~NA~

_Today has been the worst day of my life, first I was late to school because Emmett left without waking me up and my alarm didn't go off. So I missed first period, then I got in trouble in third because some loser was talking to me, I didn't do anything and yet I was the one to blame? Ugh. And then I got held after third period making me late for lunch because my teacher wanted to talk to me about my absences and I have only missed her class one time. Today sucks. _

_Hopefully I can find Alistair or Rosalie and get the notes from first. Alistair is my better choice considering he takes the best notes out of anyone in this school, besides me of course which is why we always swap notes when one of us misses. Which is usually me but there was one time he missed. _

_Alistair is new this year and he is so sweet and cute. He is tall, a bit lanky, and super smart but he is also really shy so a lot of people pick on him. I feel bad for him because he doesn't deserve that, he is a really great guy and I love talking to him whenever I can actually get him to talk to me._

_I had just made it into the quad, where a lot of people came to sit outside on nice days like today and eat and hang out during lunches, when I heard the laughter of my brother and his friends. I looked in their direction to see they were looking between me and Alistair whose face was scarlet as he looked down at the picnic table he was sitting at all alone. _

_"Oh Ali boy good luck getting this one!" Emmett's friend John yelled before turning back to his table to laugh with his friends. _

_I glared at my brother and his friends as I made my way over to Alistair's table and sat down on his right, slightly startling him in the process. _

_"Hey Bella." _

_"Hey, what are they bothering you about?" I asked bluntly, deciding not to beat around the bush. _

_"Um, it's nothing." _

_"Alistair, tell me, now." I said sternly, giving him a serious look which in turn caused him to sigh deeply. _

_"They were bugging me about kissing a girl. They kept teasing me about my first kiss and I wouldn't say anything and they kept saying I never kissed anyone and they bet that I wouldn't kiss anyone. Then your brother dared me to kiss you because you are the only girl around here that talks to me, he was teasing me saying that I had a crush on you because you were nice to me." _

_"I see." He was avoiding my gaze, looking at anything he possibly could. _

_"Alistair, look at me." He looked up reluctantly and I could see the worry and anxiety in his eyes. I am going to kill my brother. _

_"Have you ever kissed a girl?" I asked quietly so only he could hear me. _

_He just shook his head no, unable to look me in the eye. I felt bad for him, he never admitted it to my brother and his friends and they were so mean to him and he just took it. When he didn't have to. _

_"Kiss me." I whispered softly, startling him once again. He looked at me in surprise, unsure of what he was hearing. _

_"What?" _

_"You heard me, I said to kiss me. They don't have to know it's your first. But let's put them in their place shall we?" _

_He smiled slightly, I could see my brother and his friend watching us curiously from the corner of my eye and I couldn't keep the smirk off my face as Alistair leaned in toward me. As if he were an old pro at this, and from what transpired it was as if he had done this before. _

_If he hadn't just told me he had never kissed a girl before I would have took him for an expert. He grabbed my face in his hands and crashed his lips to mine in a passionate yet innocent kiss that left me breathless and him as well. When our tongues met I thought I was going to lose it until I realized where we were and who was watching so I reluctantly pulled back a little after a few minutes. _

_Alistair's breathing was a little labored as was mine but he had a huge grin on his face as Emmett's friends cat called and booed because he got them and not the other way around. _

_"That was," _

_"Amazing? Awesome?" I filled in for him with a smug smile that he returned. _

_"Thanks Bella." _

_I winked at him and gave him a small hug and kiss on the cheek before turning a death glare to my brother and his friends. _

_"Don't you dumb football jocks have anything better to do than watch us swap spit?" _

_"Oh come on Bella what the hell was that?" _

_"Good-bye John." I seethed angrily before turning back around to see Alistair smirking into his pizza. _

_"And what are you so smug about?" he looked up at me and he looked like a deer caught in the headlights, which made me laugh and of course made him laugh after a while. _

_At least it isn't awkward. _

_"So now that I did you a favor how bout a favor for me?" I asked sweetly, knowing he would do anything for me even if I hadn't done anything for him. _

_"Anything you know that. And I have my notes ready for you from first period. I noticed you weren't there when everyone ganged up on me and I didn't have my savior." _

_"Who ganged up on you this morning?" oh this made me mad, why didn't Rosalie stop them? _

_"You mean besides Rosalie, Tommy, Tyler and Jeremy?" _

_"I'll take care of them, and thanks for the notes." I said through my teeth as I grabbed my phone from my bag to send a few quick and angry texts. _

_"Are you not eating?" he asked with a lift of his brow. _

_"Um, no I had a pretty rough morning and forgot most of my things at home including my lunch money and my brother is too much of a douche bag to give me any money." _

_"You want some money? I mean it's cool or you can have some of my food I don't mind." _

_"It's okay really, thanks though you're too sweet Al." he blushed slightly and looked away, nodding slightly but also scooting a small plate with a brownie on it. _

_I rolled my eyes and grabbed the brownie, my weakness, and took a big bite before setting it back down and looking back at who I look at as my friend. I don't know if that is how he sees me but I sure do hope so. _

_"So, my favor." _

_"I was waiting for you to tell me what it was." _

_"Well the Sadie Hawkins dance is coming up and I need a date and there is no sleaze ball in this school I would take to any dance ever. So would you like to go with me? You don't have to but I thought it would be fun if we went together, it would help us get to know one another better." _

_He smiled brightly at me and threw his arm around my shoulder, shocking the hell out of me for once. I looked at him with a shocked smile and his never faltered. _

_"I would love to go to the dance with you. But what do you say we hang out more than just in school? I am your friend right? And you mine?" _

_This made me smile wider and more genuine, that's just what I wanted to hear. _

_"Well of course, I would love to hang out with you more Al. Get to know the real you." _

_"Same here, how about sometime this week?" _

_"Yeah, free tomorrow?" _

_"Yep." _

_"Good. Follow you home after school?" _

_"I'll meet you at your car." _

~NA~

"Damn that was a good day." Al said suddenly, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Why?"

"Because I got to kiss the most beautiful girl ever." I blushed, and rolled my eyes.

"Shut up."

"Why? It's true!"

"Yeah and you have had other girlfriends since then."

"No, I haven't. There was Dana but she was not my girlfriend and then there was Kallie but that was a bust so I'm off girls for a while unless you decide to finally date me." He said with a wiggle of his brows.

"Shut up, and what do you mean Kallie was a bust?" they were just together a few minutes ago sucking face.

"Yeah well she got pissy when I went to talk to you and started yelling at me and all kinds of shit. I wasn't having any of that so I said screw her and came after you, like I should have weeks ago when you walked off crying after telling my ass off."

"I'm still sorry about that."

"Don't be, now I see that I truly deserved that. I was a total asshole Bells and your my best friend you mean more to me than anyone and I never should have let anyone come between us like I did and I am so sorry. I just want to be like we were before. Us, just us." I smiled at him widely.

"You have no idea how long I have been waiting to hear that." I whispered before throwing my arms around his neck and holding him close.

"Love you Bell."

"Love you Al."

I always breathe better when he is with me, I don't know why and I don't think that I ever will but he is my rock and I am so glad that I have him in my life.

~NA~

After a few more hours at the beach and Alistair throwing me into the ocean and chasing me all over the place we finally went back to my single dorm where we hung out and watched movies and pigged out on snacks. We talked a lot, it was just like old times, and then there was a knock on my door at nine o'clock.

"Shit."

"What?"

"I was supposed to go to a party with Kyle."

"Pfft, tell him your plans changed."

"Alistair!"

"What?"

"Shut up!"

I ran to the door and flung it open just as Kyle was about to knock again. He smiled widely at me but it slowly disappeared when he took in my relaxed attire.

"So, I take it no date?" he asked with a cocked brow as he peered behind me to see Alistair smiling widely from my blue circle chair with a bag of chips in his hands and chips stuffed in his mouth.

"I am so sorry, me and Alistair came back from the beach and started hanging out for the first time in a month or two and I totally forgot I am so sorry. If you want I can change real fast. He won't mind."

"Yeah I'd mind!" Al yelled obnoxiously.

"Shut up Alistair!" I growled menacingly, giving him a death glare before turning back to a smirking Kyle.

"Hey, it's cool you have company. Rain check though?" he asked with a hopeful smile.

"Are you sure, it's just Alistair he will understand."

"Hey! Offensive! Words hurt Bellsy!"

"Shut up!" I growled again before looking back at Kyle who was repressing the urge to laugh. Yeah we have that effect on people whether they know our relationship or not.

"See? It's not a problem unless you don't want to wait a minute."

"I can wait."

"Okay, you can come in and wait if you want."

He nodded and followed me back into the room where Alistair just gave me a blank look from his seat in front of the TV. He is not happy, especially because he doesn't want me going out with him.

"Be nice. I'll be right back." I warned him as I went to grab something cute to wear.

I know what Alistair is thinking, he is worried I will sleep with him, I am still a virgin and I am not sure whether I am ready or not. And Alistair is super protective. I was super shocked when Al told me he slept with Kallie, which was the first step in our distancing. That almost killed me.

~NA~

_"Hey you." I said cheerily as I walked into the coffee shop to a hung-over looking Alistair. _

_"You look trashed." _

_"I feel like shit." He mumbled as I handed him his preferred drink to cure a hangover. _

_"You over did it again dork." _

_"Yeah I know. You get home okay last night? I feel awful for letting you walk home all by yourself." _

_"I was fine, it wasn't far." He nodded his head before taking a sip of coffee as I drank some of mine. _

_"I slept with Kallie." I nearly choked. _

_"What?" I looked up at him in shock, did I hear him right?_

_"Yeah, we were really drunk and she was all over me so we kind of did the deed." _

_"Wow, um, I don't know what to say." I cleared my throat, why does this bother me so much? It shouldn't. I feel like I did the day I found him in his car sucking face with Dana in high school. If I hadn't of interrupted he would of gotten a little groping in, so I felt bad, not really. But he wasn't happy, he wasn't mad at me but he wasn't happy._

_"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told you like that." _

_"No, no, um. I gotta go, I have a lot of studying to do. I'll talk to you later." I said while getting up abruptly. _

_"Bella wait!" _

_I walked away with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat that I just couldn't manage to swallow down. Everything was a blur, why does this bother me so badly? He is just my best friend I shouldn't be this hurt that he slept with someone else…..but I am. _

~NA~

I shook my head as I slipped on my favorite skinny jeans and a black zip up bustier tank top paired with gold doc martens and my red cover up. I tousled my brown curls a few times and then headed back into my room to feel the thick tension looming in the air.

As soon as I walked into the room Kyle's eyes swept over my body in appreciation and Alistair jumped up from his seat with a death glare. He walked over to me and grabbed my arm, pulling me toward the door.

"Give us a second please." He gritted through his teeth. Great.

"Al, what are you-"

"Please for the love of God promise me one thing Bella, well two actually."

"What's that?" I asked with a lift of my brow.

"Don't do anything you don't want to do and please call me if you need me." I was about to protest when I saw the look in his eye.

"Okay, I promise." I leaned up and kissed him on the cheek and his eyes softened slightly as he pulled me into his arms for a tight hug.

"Love you baby."

"Love you too."

"Get going." He said while giving me a smack to the butt as we walked back into my dorm room.

"Ready?" I asked with a smile and Kyle stood up with a nod and we headed out. Leaving Alistair in my room where he most likely would stay until I made it back. I didn't care, it's not like we haven't staid in each other's rooms before. Edward never cared when I staid over, yes my gay friend is my best friend's roommate. That was the first time we met. It was pretty funny actually.

~NA~

_Alistair and I had spent the night drinking and watching movies so it was no surprise that I crashed with him that night. Too tired to get out of bed or even go back to my door across campus. That wasn't happening so Al gave me one of his shirts to sleep in and we crashed._

_I woke up and found myself with a pounding headache and my legs and arms wrapped around my friend. But I knew we didn't do anything, we never did even if we were drunk off our asses. There was always just a lot of making out and a little groping, but that was about it, we knew when to stop even when we were drunk. _

_"Ahem." Oh god. _

_I turned on my side so quickly I almost fell off the bed, I came face to face with a smiling face and twinkling green eyes. _

_"Um." I had no clue what to say and Al was still passed out. _

_"You're the best friend aren't you?" he asked with a smile. _

_"Yeah." I said slowly with a slight nod. _

_"I'm Edward, he told me about you. Don't worry, I don't mind if you stay over." _

_And with that he turned and went out the door but sent me a wink over his shoulder before the door closed. That was the first time I met Edward Cullen and the next time I officially met him is when I found out he was gay. We met in my lit class._

~NA~

"Alistair." I cried into my phone, I couldn't breathe.

"Baby what's wrong?" that's not the voice I was expecting.

"Edward? Where's Al?" I asked pitifully as I hugged my middle and looked around at my surroundings.

"He's in the bathroom what's wrong? Where are you? What happened? Do we need to kick ass?"

"Ed-I-I need Alistair." I cried into the phone, sobbing uncontrollably.

"Okay baby calm down I'll get him." He said in a rush and then I heard a lot of rustling as he made his way to the bathroom.

"AL! It's Bella!"

"Here!" I heard him yell faintly and then I think Edward threw him the phone because there was a soft thump and more rustling as the phone was handled.

"Bells? Baby what's wrong?"

"I need you." I cried even more, I need him so badly right now he is the only person I want right now he is the only one who can make it better.

"Where are you?" he asked in a serious and deadly tone.

"Buckner Hall. I'm outside the building."

"I'm on my way baby stay right there."

I hummed softly through my tears and put the phone back in my pocket as we hung up. I shied away from the people coming in and out of the building, not wanting anyone to see me and try talking to me. I felt dirty, I wanted to just go back to my dorm and hide away forever.

But I didn't feel comfortable enough or safe enough to walk all that way by myself and I really could use Alistair right now. My rock, the one person who could make everything go away in an instant.

"Bell!" I heard him before I saw him and once I did spot him I couldn't hold myself there anymore, I ran for him and threw my arms around his neck. Crying even harder, sobs racked my body so hard that he had to pick me up and carry me back to my room.

"What happened?" I faintly heard Edward ask as we made our way into my building.

"I don't know yet but I know she won't want to talk to anyone but me so I will fill you in tomorrow okay?"

"Okay, hang in there baby." Edward whispered before the door to my room closed.

Al laid me down on the bed and went to take off my shoes but I wouldn't release my hold on him. Too afraid to let go, so he sat down and pulled me up so I was sitting in his lap and just let me cry until I couldn't cry anymore.

"Okay babe, what's going on, what happened?" he asked distressed.

"He, we, I didn't want to, but he." I choked up on sobs, it wouldn't have made any sense to anyone else but Alistair isn't anyone else.

"That piece of shit. I'm gonna kill him."

"Alistair don't!"

"Bella, he raped you. You think I am going to let him get away with this? First thing in the morning we are going to the police station."

"Bu-"

"No, no buts."

He gave me a stern look and I knew that there was no way I would be able to argue with him. And to be honest I was so drained, and exhausted and scared that I didn't really want to argue anyway.

"Okay." I said in a small broken voice.

He nodded his head and proceeded to take my shoes and my cover up off before laying me back on the bed. He then took off his shoes and I knew by this gesture that he was staying with me tonight. Good, because I need him to.

"Don't worry baby girl. I'll be here all night long. No one is going to hurt you I promise you that."

I nodded into his chest as he climbed into bed with me and held me close. I always felt safe in his arms, he always made me feel safe. I'm so glad I have him, because if I didn't I don't know what I would do.

~NA~

_"Alistair," I cried into the phone as I sat in my car on the side of the road. My parents weren't home and I had nowhere to go. He was the first person that came to mind, as always._

_"Bella? What's wrong? Are you okay?" _

_"I need somewhere to go. My parents aren't home, and I just I-"_

_"Hey, hey it's okay. Where are you?"_

_"I'm a mile from the school. My car broke down on my way to the hospital." _

_"Bella why were you going to the hospital? Baby you're scaring me." _

_"I was hanging out with Rosalie and a few of the guys. I didn't know we were really going to a party. I wasn't drinking I swear, but John was there and he tried to get with me and I kept pushing him away. Emmett was there and he saw and came to my rescue but when he was pulling John away from me I got pushed in the process and I fell over some rocks and I-"_

_I choked on another sob, unable to finish, the pain was becoming too hard to bare, I felt as if I couldn't breathe, my throat felt like someone shoved a million cotton balls in it and my ribs felt like they were pushing into my esophagus. _

_"Okay, okay calm down I'm on my way baby just sit tight." _

_I didn't have to wait long before headlights pulled up behind my parked car. Alistair practically jumped from the truck and ran for my car, pulling my door open and swooping me up in his arms. _

_"Shh baby, you're gonna be okay I promise." And those were the last words I heard before I blacked out from the pain. _

_I woke up to a dark room, and a familiar scent of mint and sugar, indicating Alistair was nearby. _

_"Alistair?" I asked in the most broken voice I ever remember hearing slip from my lips. _

_"I'm right here Bells." He whispered softly, turning on a lamp to my left. _

_I opened my eyes, squinted as to adjust to the new light in the room, looking around until my eyes found purchase. He was sitting on the side of his bed, hovering over me with a worried look in his eyes. _

_"How did I get here?" _

_"I picked you up remember?" I nodded after a moment, realization hitting as I remembered calling him. _

_"I took you to the hospital, they said you just passed out from the pain, you scared the hell out of me by the way, and they treated you and sent you home with me after mom and dad came down." _

_"What's the verdict?" I asked as he put his arm on the bed by my right side as I laid on my back looking up at him as he hovered over me. _

_"Broken ribs, two, concussion, and a sprained wrist. You were lucky not to break your arm." _

_"Wow, all that over falling over some rocks." _

_"Bells, you're lucky you didn't crack your skull open. I could kill your brother for letting you drive." _

_"I'm okay though." _

_"Yeah, thank god." _

_He looked down at me with that steaming love that always left me breathless, he loves so whole heartedly. _

_"You need to get some sleep baby." _

_"You're going to stay with me right?" _

_"Of course I will, you know that. Besides, you really think I am going to let you kick me out of my own bed?" he asked with a small laugh, making me smile. _

_"Scoot over." I did as he said and scooted to the middle of the bed, giving him enough space to lay down. _

_Right as he was about to turn the light off I noticed he was shirtless and in sweat pants, he always looked amazing without a shirt. He laid down, pulled the covers up to my shoulder and pulled me into his arms. _

_"Thank you." I whispered into his chest as I cuddled into his embrace. _

_"For what baby?" he asked while caressing my back and leaving a chaste kiss on my head. _

_"For being there for me." I kissed his chest, making him shiver as he held me tighter. _

_"I always will be, no matter what. Now go to sleep baby, I'll be here all night I promise." _

_And that's how it would always be, I would always stay safely in his arms. _

~NA~

Weeks went by after the rape and I had fully recovered to my full self with the help of my two friends. Once Edward found out he was almost as pissed off as Alistair and if I hadn't of begged them not to they would have went after Kyle before we went to the police and took care of him themselves.

But it didn't matter anymore because Kyle had been arrested after I filed my report because after my report was filed several other girls including Alistair's ex, Kallie, came forward and admitted Kyle had raped them or took advantage of them against their will.

It looked as if I had not been the only one, but at least there can't be any more now that he is locked up.

"Hey beautiful, ready for the best summer ever?" Alistair asked excitedly as he threw his arm over my shoulder.

"You know it, you know what I am most excited about though?" I asked with a big smile as we walked out to his truck.

"What?"

"Moving into our apartment!" I squealed excitedly as he grabbed the last box from the bed of the truck and I closed it.

"Damn right. I love my parents so much for buying this place for us, and the rent isn't bad either."

"Yeah and no more living on campus."

"Hell yeah, our last year of college and we already have a place in the city. This is going to be perfect baby girl."

"I am so excited Al, our first place."

"Hell Bell this is the best thing ever, and I get to share it with my best friend."

"Aw, you are so sweet!" I said with a smile while pulling him down to my level to give him a big kiss on the lips before heading into the living room to unpack more boxes.

"Little tease."

"Kiss my ass Logan!"

"Come here."

"Shut up weirdo. Is Edward still coming over to help?"

"Yeah he should be here with his man friend in a minute. I moved out and I still can't get rid of him!"

"Oh hush you know you love Edward."

"Yeah, just not in the way he wants me too."

We both busted out laughing because this was true, when Alistair first found out Edward was gay was when he started making passes at him. To say that Al was thoroughly freaked out is an understatement. He almost went to get a room change before he found out Edward was so cool, and then came the morning when I met him. I didn't know the guy and I liked him instantly, if Al had a straight roommate they would have tried to make passes at me or not allowed me to be there. But by having a gay roommate gave us a lot of freebies and a lot of annoyances too.

"Remember the time he walked in on us?"

"Oh god,"

"That was funny as hell."

"It was mortifying!"

"Not the way I remember it B,"

"And how do you remember it?"

"The right way."

~NA~

_"God Bella you're so sexy you know that?" Alistair slurred drunkenly as he looked at me with those eyes I couldn't resist. _

_"Shut up Logan!" I slurred as we leaned up against one another. _

_"It's true." He insisted as he set our drinks down on the floor and turned until he was completely facing me, almost falling off the bed in the process. _

_"You are so beautiful, I've thought so ever since I first saw you." _

_"You're just saying that cause your my best frien." I slurred while leaning into his embrace. _

_"No, I'm say-ing it cause its true." _

_I rolled my eyes and looked at him, seeing he was looking at my lips and is by gravity our lips crashed against one another's and our hands were everywhere. _

_Al pushed me back until I was lying flat on the bed as he laid on top of me, covering every inch of my body with his. My hands were in his hair, tugging and massaging as his hands traveled down my body and to my hips. _

_"I love you Bells." _

_I moaned into his mouth as he ground his hips into mine, his hard on prominent even to my drunken haze. _

_"Mm, I love you too." I groaned as his tongue assaulted mine. _

_We've made out and dry humped many times while drunk, especially in high school, but this felt different. Maybe it was just because I was drunk, or maybe I really was thinking clearer because I was drunk. _

_"Alistair," _

_"Yea?" he kissed down my neck, across my collar bone and back up to my lips. _

_"I want you." I panted as he ground his hips into mine even harder than before. _

_"You have me." _

_And his lips were back on mine, tongue, lips and teeth. It was frantic, passionate and feral. He took the hem of my shirt in his hands and pulled it up until it was off and discarded it on the floor. His lips were back on mine almost instantly, I began sloppily unbuttoning his shirt and pulling it from his shoulders to reveal his sculpted chest. _

_"So sexy." He growled while grinding his hard on into my throbbing center. _

_"Alistair, please." I groaned pleadingly, arching my back until our chests were touching completely. _

_He began kissing down my neck, leaving a trail of fire and he began pulling my shorts down, softly caressing my skin as he did so. _

_"Yo, yo, yo what movie we watching tonight- OH MY GOD!" _

_I gasped in shock at the same time Alistair whirled around to see Edward standing in the doorway looking like a deer caught in the headlights. Eyes wide, mouth a gap and watching us in astonishment with the door almost completely shut behind him. _

_"Ed, it's um." Al stumbled as he tried to cover my half naked body with his so his friend didn't see. _

_"No need to explain, I'll um just, bye." And he was back out the door with a blood red face and mortified eyes. _

_Once the door was closed and the silence enveloped us I felt sober and fully aware of what almost happened. And I couldn't breathe. _

_"Wow that almost happened didn't it?" Alistair breathed out in disbelief. He looked down at me and his eyes looked as though they hadn't changed. _

_There was no trace of the drunken haze we had just been under, but the love, passion and adoration was still there. Full force, and when I looked into his eyes I felt like I could breathe again. _

_"Yeah." I whispered in a small voice, I was almost ashamed, almost. In a way, I wanted it to happen and wished that it did. _

_"Should we stop? Pretend like it didn't happen?" he asked with a small bit of hope in his eyes, hope that I would say no, I couldn't. I wanted to, but I couldn't. _

_"Yeah." Call my bluff, please for once see the truth in my eyes. See the lie that so blatantly left my lips, make me yours. I plead for him to see the want in my eyes. _

_But just like every other time he didn't see it, and I was so very disappointed when we got redressed, me in his shirt and just my underwear. Him in his boxers and no shirt, just like always. He pulled me into his arms and held me close all night long. Just not in the way I wanted him too. _

~NA~

"See? Funny as hell!" Al laughed loudly as I pushed him playfully.

Before I could say anything in retort there was a knock on the door before Edward swung it open in his usual obnoxious manner.

"Sup love birds. Finally tying the knot and realizing you are perfect for each other and finally decided to live together I see." He said with a smile as he entered the room, setting a bag and bouquet of flowers on our new coffee table.

"Oh yeah Eddie, you actually just interrupted the hottest make-out session I think we have ever endured. What do you think baby?" I asked while putting my arms around Alistair and standing so close to him every inch of our bodies were touching.

He smiled widely and put his arms around me and hitched my leg over his shoulder, playing along like the amazing best friend he is.

"Oh yeah, if it wasn't for you Ed we would probably be christening the couch right about now." He said with a wiggle of his brow.

"You guys are such prudes." Edward said with a pout as we pulled away laughing. He knew us to well to think we were serious.

"Now that was funny." I said while grabbing the flowers to grab a vase.

"Yeah well even if it had been true it's not like it would have been the first time I walked in on you guys getting hot and heavy. Remember that night you guys got drunk and I walked in on you half naked as you got ready to stick your member in her cooter."

I nearly choked at his terminology but Alistair never batted an eye as he just shook his head at his friend.

"We were actually just talking about that Ed."

"Ah, great minds think alike. So when are you two going to realize you are perfect for each other already?" he asked while helping Alistair unpack the living room stuff and began decorating.

"When you turn straight." Alistair said with a smirk as Edward threw a pillow at his head.

"I'm being serious!"

"So is he." I said while walking back into the room.

"See, she knows where it's at." Alistair said with a smile before tapping me on the butt as he walked by to shut the door.

"You two are perfect for one another." Edward grumbled as he fluffed the pillows.

~NA~

"Bella." Not this again.

Maybe if I ignore him he will just go away, he didn't the last time but maybe now that we are older he will get the picture.

"Bella."

_Go away. _

"Baby, come on."

_Seriously just let me sleep!_

"Come on baby get up I need you."

"Go. Away. Alistair."

"But Bella, I need you baby."

"No you don't."

"Yes I do."

He climbed onto the bed and straddled my hips, thank god I am laying on my stomach, his hands began running up and down my back and I was almost a goner.

"Why do you like to torture me? What do you want?" I asked while burying my face in the pillow.

"I need you to come with to breakfast with our dads."

"And why the hell do you need me there?" I asked, very much annoyed now.

"Because I want you there, and you always keep me entertained."

"And what do I get out of it if I go?" I asked while moving my head so I could slightly see him as he sat atop me.

"Well," he said while leaning down to kiss my ear, neck and shoulder, his hands moving down my hips and to the front of my shorts. Gathering my attention instantly as he dipped his fingers into the material of both my shorts and panties.

"If you go, when we get back I'll make sweet, sweet love to you all day long." He whispered seductively.

"What?" my eyes popped open for the first time since he came in here and my head lifted up slightly.

"Knew that would get you awake."

"Jerk." I muttered annoyed as I let my head fall back into the pillow.

His fingers staid where they were, without me telling him to move them otherwise, it's been a long time since he has touched me this intimately and I really didn't want it to stop. He seemed to realize this as quickly as I thought it and began to move his fingers further down until they brushed against my clit, making me jump slightly and him moan.

"God Bells why aren't you stopping me?" he asked while dipping his fingers lower and finding the exact spot he was looking for as he slowly pushed his fingers in and out of me.

"Because it feels freaking amazing. Why aren't you stopping yourself?" I gripped the sheets in my hands and repressed the moan fighting to make its way out.

"Because I want nothing more than to make you feel good and make love to you." He whispered into my ear before kissing my neck once again.

"Mm," I moaned softly, wanting nothing more than for him to fulfill that notion.

_What am I thinking? Stop it Bella, he is your best friend._

"I'm gonna make you feel so good baby I promise." He whispered into my ear as he kissed it.

He curled his fingers slightly, finding my g-spot that hasn't been hit in way too long, I gasped and arched slightly as continued his ministrations.

"Why do I only ever walk in on you guys when you are in incriminating positions? Why can't I ever walk in and you guys just be at the kitchen table or on the couch?" Edward's voice sounded teasingly from my bedroom door.

Alistair growled angrily before rolling off me and onto the bed beside me, I must admit that I was about as frustrated as he was.

"Why are you here?" Alistair asked while pushing his fists into his eyes, trying to calm down.

"I'm accompanying the two of you to breakfast with your dad's remember?"

"Oh god." Al groaned as I rolled over to spoon him, making him look at me instantly.

"Chill and get up so we can get ready to leave dork." I kissed his cheek and winked at him before jumping out of bed and headed to the bathroom.

This is going to be an interesting day.

~NA~

_"Bella?"_

_"Alistair?" _

_"Okay smart ass." I giggled uncontrollably as he sat down on the other end of the couch, picking up my feet and setting them on his lap as he sat down. _

_"What ya readin?" he asked in a sing song voice as I read one of my required books from my reading list. _

_"Just a lit book, what do you want?" I asked with a slight smile as I peeked up at him from my book. _

_"Well there is no beating around the bush with you now is there?" he said with that gorgeous carefree smile I have always loves. _

_"Nope. Spill." _

_"I was wondering if you wanted to go to a party with me tonight?" I lifted a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at him, this was shocking. _

_"A party? Together? We haven't been to a party together in a while Al." _

_"I know and none of the parties we have been to have been fun have they?" _

_"No, I see your point. Sure, let's go." _

_"Really?" he asked excitedly. I shrugged and went back to my book. _

_"Why not?" he threw my book across the room and practically jumped on top of me, a big boyish grin on his face as he did so. _

_"What are you doing goof ball?" I asked as he straddled my hip, his hands resting on the arm of the couch on either side of my head. _

_"You're the best, you know that right?" _

_"You tell me all the time, now are you going to tell me what you are doing?" I asked again a shocked smile still permanently plastered on my face. _

_"What? Can't I do stuff like this with my best friend?" _

_"Yes, but you usually have ulterior motives." _

_"Ulterior motives my ass Swan." _

_"It's a nice ass." I said with a playful wink, making him smile at me suggestively. _

_"I've missed this." _

_"Missed what?" I asked curiously, pushing the hair out of his face, making him smile even more. _

_"This, B. The moments like this when we are just us." _

_And he was right, we haven't laid down or sat down with each other like this in weeks, month's maybe. And we always used to. _

_"I know what you mean. I guess we have both just been so busy, with school and other people we just forgot," _

_"That we are best friends and we have a weird relationship that no one but us and our gay best friend understands?" he filled in questioningly, making me laugh as he hit it right on the nose. _

_"Yes, exactly what I was going to say." _

_We laughed together, truly and genuinely laughed for the first time in a long time and it felt amazing to laugh with him. _

_"I love you Bells, and no matter what that is never going to change." He vowed sincerely, making me a promise that only I knew the true meaning of with his eyes. _

_I just caressed his cheek and smiled, knowing that if I spoke I would possibly ruin our entire friend ship and I didn't want that. I love him too much. _

~NA~

After a very weird lunch with our fathers and Edward, Alistair and I went to the mall to hang out for a few hours and just have a day to ourselves. Just like we always used to.

We shopped for a few hours, went into a few shops just to look around and goof off before getting some ice cream and heading home. We were happy, laughing and everything felt right again.

We had slowly begun to get back to ourselves after the past few months of crazy, it was good to have our relationship back. After that night on the couch when Al asked me to go to the party with him everything started falling into place.

Everything was great, we were great and we were happy and closer than I think we ever were before. If that were even possible.

"What are you thinking about?" Al asked as I put away the new clothes I had just bought.

I looked back to see him sprawled out on my bed, looking up at the ceiling.

"You." I whispered, hoping he didn't hear me.

"You are always thinking about me, I mean who doesn't." I scoffed at his words, getting good looking make him cocky.

"Cocky asshole." I muttered as I walked into my bathroom.

"But I'm your cocky asshole." He yelled playfully, sitting up on my bed with a smile as I walked back into the room.

"Shut up." I rolled my eyes and tried to walk by the bed to my dresser but didn't get far when Al grabbed me by the waist and threw me to the bed.

"ALISTAIR!" I yelled in surprise, trying to get up but failed miserably when he straddled my hips and putting his arms on either side of my body, effectively caging me under him.

"Get off! You nut!" I said while laughing, pushing against his chest as he looked down at me with amused eyes.

"Absolutely not, I actually quite like this position to be honest with you." He smiled cockily, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

"Oh you do huh?" I asked seductively while running my hands up his legs, making him shiver as I passed over his hips and let them travel up his torso.

"Mhm." His jaw clenched tightly as I rubbed my hands up and down his chest.

"Well, I just so happen to like this position myself." He looked at me confused as I wrapped my legs around his waist and flipped him over onto the bed until his back was flat on the mattress.

I smiled at him in satisfaction as he looked up at me completely shocked as I sat on top of me with a cocky smile on my own.

"This isn't so bad either." He whispered huskily as he repeated my earlier ministrations. His hands trailed up my body, stopped just under my breasts and traveled back down to my thighs.

"Bella,"

"Hmm?" I hummed as my eyes closed and my head lolled back, his hands felt amazing.

"I'm tired of pretending."

"Pretending what?" My eyes shot open as his hands stopped on my hips.

"What's wrong?" I asked a little worried.

Sensing my distress he sat up instantly but never moved me from his lap, he wrapped his arms around my waist and one went under my butt to keep me in place as I put my hands on his shoulders, looking directly into one another's eyes.

"God, nothing is wrong Bella but in a way everything is."

"Alistair you're scaring me."

"I have been in love with you since freshman year of high school Bella, you were the first girl to ever even give me the time of day. You were kind, sweet, caring, smart, and not to mention the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life. You were my first kiss, we have done everything together since that day, and you have always been there for me and the other way around. I have loved you since day one and I that never faltered. I want to be more than your best friend. I want to be the guy you go to places with as your date, I want to be able to touch you and kiss you anytime I want. Bella, I want you to want to be with me because you are in love with me as much as I am in love with you. I am tired of pretending that you are just my friend because you aren't Bella, you are so much more."

I didn't know what to say, I was so stunned at this moment. For what felt like hours we just sat there looking into one another's eyes, searching, searching for the words to say. When finally I found them and a smile crept its way onto my face, making Alistair sigh in relief and anticipation.

"I never thought I would hear you say that. I'm sorry, I love you with every fiber of my being and I never wanted to ruin what we had. So I kept my mouth shut, when I shouldn't have. When I am with you Al, I feel so safe, I feel like I could concur the world, and I feel like I can breathe easier. Every time something bad has happened to me or to us I always feel like I have something blocking my air way, like someone is choking me or shoving anything down my throat to keep me from breathing. But then you come in for the rescue and you make it so much easier to breathe."

"And that's how love is supposed to be, god if I knew you felt that way sooner Bella I would have took you in my arms and kissed the hell out of you and made you mine a long time ago."

"Then why didn't you?" I asked while leaning my forehead against his, smiling bright enough to match his.

"Well I kind of did this morning but we were interrupted." I laughed, because now that I think of it he was right, I did pretty much give him permission to screw me this morning.

"That reminds me. I went to breakfast with you this morning, what was it I was supposed to get out of that?" I asked with a seductive smile as I pushed him back onto the pillows, making him smile excitedly.

"Whatever you want baby, I'm all yours." I closed my eyes and sighed deeply, loving the sound of that.

"How about what you promised?"

"What did I promise?" he asked, playing dumb as he began lifting my shirt up, I lifted my arms above my head, never breaking eye contact with him as he pulled it over my head and threw it to the ground.

"You'd make love to me all day." He looked at my lace bra with such hunger that I thought it was going to pop open.

"That's not what I said."

"And what did you say?" he was sitting up once again, our bodies so close that there was no space between us. He reached around to the clasp on my bra and undid it easily while never taking his eyes from mine.

"I said that as soon as we got home I would make sweet, sweet love to you all day long." He accented every work with a kiss to my lips, neck and chest as my bra fell away from my shoulders and landed on the ground with my shirt.

"Mm, it sounds a lot better that way." I said with a smirk as I tore his shirt off as he attacked my lips with his.

"I swear if Edward walks in Bella I'm killing him." I giggled as Alistair growled out the words.

"I'll help." I gasped as he licked a hot trail down my neck as he pulled my shorts and panties off my body and threw them away to join the rest of our clothes on the floor.

"I love you." He whispered with so much passion as he centered himself at my entrance, looking deeply into my eyes as I took his face in my hands.

"I love you too."

I pulled him down to kiss me as he pushed in slowly, it hurt slightly as I haven't been with anyone in months but it was a delicious pain that I welcomed.

"You okay?" he asked once he was all the way in, giving me a chance to adjust to his size.

This isn't the first time I have seen his very prominent member, I have seen Alistair completely naked on many occasions and him me as well. That's how close we have always been over the years.

"Perfect." I whispered honestly, he smiled down at me and leaned down to kiss me once again as he began to move.

_Finally. _

It wasn't fast, it wasn't sloppy, it was slow sensual, and passionate. It was true and pure love. It was all us and it was amazing, I had been with very few people but the few that I had been with did not compare to what Alistair and I had, what we shared.

"I love you." He whispered as we laid together after making love for _hours, _I was laying half on top of him and half on the bed, our limbs tangled together.

"I love you too." I said with a kiss to his shoulder, looking up into his loving eyes, they have always been so loving.

"I'm so glad we finally did this Bella, I promise you there will never be a sour moment."

I leaned up to kiss him on the lips, it was a bit more passionate then I meant for it to be but it got my point across.

"I know, there never has been anyway."

"Really? You wanna rethink that statement?" he said with a playful lift of his brow as I rested my chin on his chest.

"Nope, you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because none of that matters now. What happened between us because of stupid mistakes, none of it matters because we love each other. No one can change that, no one."

In an instant I was on my back, a shocked and excited smile on my face as he hovered over me, smiling widely as he laid his body on top of mine.

"Glad to hear it baby, now I do believe I made a promise to make love to you all day."

"Mm, you already did that." He smiled brightly, leaning down to kiss me deeply, taking my hands in his and lifting my arms above my head.

"We have two more hours of daylight left." He whispered in my ear seductively as he reentered me.

"Then let's make it count."


End file.
